Teaching at Beyond Vanilla 2017

Traveling and teaching are our passions. If you would like to have us present for your group or event please contact us.

Below is a list of our currently available workshops with brief descriptions. We have presented at many of premier BDSM and Leather conferences around the United States including South Plains Leather Fest, Southwest Leather Conference, Northwest Leather Celebration, Great Lakes Leather Alliance, Southeast Leather Fest, TES Fest, Northern Exposure, Tribal Fire, Beyond Vanilla, Beyond Leather, Behind Closed Doors, KINK Weekend OKC, Alamo City Leather and Fetish Weekend, Women in Leather International Weekend, and many others. While we love teaching for large events we also enjoy presenting for smaller groups around the country.

If you would like to see us present on a topic not listed below, please contact us.

Master/slave Workshops

Myths, Rumors, and Realities: WTF is a 24/7 M/s Dynamic?

Masters are all asses and slaves are all doormats right? No, no ,wait… slaves are the highest, truest, and best form of submissive and Masters are all real Deal Old Guard bad-asses. No wait that’s not right either, Owner and property are the end all be all. No, no, no the truth is anyone who claims to be a slave is crazy, and there is no such thing as “24/7.”  After all, if your Master told you to kill kittens and then disembowel yourself you wouldn’t do it right? Or you would only do it if you were ‘true’ slave?

This workshop will be a frank discussion of the myths, rumors, and half-truths associated with the 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle, and will include examples of real time M/s and how it works in practice. Bring your questions and doubts as there will be ample opportunities for discussion throughout.

The One-Legged Dog Can’t Fetch: Creating a Supportive Environment for Your Slave

The collar is in place, the commitments made, your slave seems motivated to serve you well, and yet something is amiss.  Instead of perfection at every turn, the slave is unsure and self-conscious about every error. This can lead quickly to burnout, depression, and a sense of helplessness for both the Master and the slave.

The art of mastering another person is more than rules and punishment. Mastery is a responsibility to protect, provide, tend, and develop your slave’s potential.

This workshop will discuss instituting a basic framework to create the support needed for a slave to thrive. Topics will include: setting reasonable goals, what is ‘reasonable’, avoiding contradictory expectations, how to discover what motivates your slave, and when to add challenges for best results.

A Slave’s Guide to Screwing Up with Grace

It is a lovely quiet evening and your slave approaches and inquires, “Wine tonight, Sir?” Have you ever wondered inwardly if they are offering ‘wine’ or ‘whine’? Given the option, few Master’s long to spend an evening listening to their slave disparage themselves, yet high self esteem is rarely acknowledged as an ideal trait for a slave.

Despite a slave’s best efforts, we are all still human. If we insist on performing emotional self-flagellation, we are taking authority from where it should be. There is a graceful way to find fault in our own actions without being our own, or worse, our Master’s worst enemy.

This workshop is about how the slave can do their part to maintain the integrity of the M/s dynamic even during those inevitable times of failure, frustration, and miscommunication.  We will cover basic self-esteem pitfalls, how a change of focus can relieve us from self-battery, and what grace under pressure looks like in the M/s relationship.

Little slave: Coloring Books to Conflict Resolution

Open to all explorers, Masters and slaves who might never imagine Big/little in their relationship to Big/littles who can’t imagine how their relationship might veer toward M/s. In this hands on workshop we will explore our experiences utilizing the “little” aspects of a slave as a way to engage with the protective nurturing side of the Master while de-escalating any sense of conflict.

Choose your own adventure: EITHER The slave says, “We need to talk. I am not happy with the way things are going and I feel my needs are not being met.” OR The slave with a pouty frown flops down on the couch next to the Master and whimpers “I can’t go on! I need attention-ings or I will probably just die.” The first ‘adult’ style can elicit conflict and frustration because it engages in logical and analytical thinking. The second is disarming and expresses needs without the slave taking a stance of power.

As many slaves will tell you, there are times when a slave feels emotional and needy, confused, or simply out of sorts.  Framing unpleasant states in ‘vanilla’ world terms is generally unsuccessful and unwelcome within the boundaries of a Master/slave power exchange relationship but having a safe space to express needs is critical for long term happiness.

Comparative Philosophies of M/s

Each and every Master is a wholly unique snowflake in many ways. However there are several archetypes that can serve as frameworks for M/s relationships including: God/creation, Owner/property, Patriarch/child, Governor/citizen, Dictator/peasant. Understanding these archetypes can offer guidance for those starting new M/s relationships and insight for maintaining existing ones.  Creating your personal philosophy for your relationship with intention is a powerful tool on the path to authenticity. Come to this spirited discussion where we examine the many styles of M/s.

M/s in the Apocalypse

Perhaps zombies have overrun the world, aliens have invaded, global warming has escalated into an ice age, or even worse…things in your world have gone to total sh$% and you don’t know how to fix it. Join us as we discuss our personal experiences with the apocalypse in our M/s. We will discuss how to make survival plans, when to shelter, when to run, and how to find joy in the worst of times.

Master’s Guide to Topping from the Bottom

Despite what you may have been mislead to believe, being the Master in a relationship does not mean being the Top when it’s time to visit the dungeon.  No matter what it looks like on ‘that’ episode of Family Guy or in 50 Shades, S&M (sadism and masochism) is not the same as M/s (Master and slave). What lights your fire in the sexual exchange of physical S&M may not always be aligned with your power exchange desires. Don’t miss out on who and what you desire based on an outdated notion of gender roles or fears about what ‘they’ will think. Ultimately whether or not the Master is the top or the bottom, they are still the Master.  Join us as we discuss our personal journey into the topsy turvy world of switching, power exchange, working around physical illness and limitations, and finding healing through connections in the flesh. Demo, discussion, and Q&A.

Advice from Your Future Selves: M/s Relationship Building

Though there are advantages to learning from experience, these can often be painful lessons. Wouldn’t it be great if we could just give ourselves the skinny on the bad parts and avoid them altogether?  Unfortunately that just isn’t possible with today’s technology.  However, by figuring out what you really want today, you CAN see into the future and determine how to build and manage your M/s relationship.  Join Todd and elizabeth as they show you how to create a crystal ball to your future.

Oh No, My slave is Happy!

Often Mastery includes a desire for growth and development of the slave; unfortunately, there is a somber community notion that this growth is best, or only, achieved through suffering.  Why not foster growth through happiness, contentment, and fulfillment?

This workshop challenges the school of thought that slaves must suffer in order to grow. Perhaps in some cases suffering has worked, worked well, and would be exalted but surely this cannot be ‘the’ way to elicit growth in slaves.

The presenters will provide information about an alternate path that focuses on establishing joy as the engine for growth. Using evidence from academic research as well as personal examples, they will share practical tools for encouraging a slave to grow that are founded in behavior modification theory. Topics will include: stimulus-response cycles, positive reinforcement, genuine positive regard, and consistency.

Pragmatic and Powerful: Real Life 24/7

When Master Todd first collared slave elizabeth he told her he wanted an egalitarian relationship in ‘real life’ and M/s in kink. He followed this statement with, “go get me coffee.” The presenters often laugh now at his initial hesitation to even admit that what he wanted was full time service and absolute authority.  Five years later with the collar still in place, the presenters have found pathways through trials and tribulations that new M/s couples often face.

Many people have doubts about the 24/7 M/s dynamic and often debate if such a thing can even exist. This workshop will provide practical knowledge of how to ‘live’ M/s with the focus on the pragmatics of living in the vanilla world as a full time M/s household.  Topics include: money matters, careers, children, extended family.

Because it Amuses Me: Protocols for Fun and Pleasure

When done for the wrong reasons protocols can become a drag. As Masters/Dominants work to create the structure of their power exchange relationships, they can easily fall into the trap of making rules because “that is what Doms are supposed to do.”  Giving your submissive protocols that seem hot when someone had their submissive do it can suck the eroticism and passion out of things if the protocols aren’t actually pleasing.  Finding a balanced way to secure your deepest desires while avoiding unreasonable or unrealistic demands is a challenging process.  This workshop will cover how to create a household manual, rule making 101, and suggestions for how to be delightfully greedy in a sustainable way.

Care and Feeding of the Master

There are many classes and workshops which focus on the needs of a slave while few focus on the Master and their needs. Masters are, despite rumors to the contrary, humans too. Mastery calls upon a person to accept great responsibility and demands volumes of patience, a surplus of energy, and tireless attention. As a culture, we recognize the needs of new parents to have respite from parenting duties, recognize caregiver fatigue in medical situations, and offer support systems for burnout in a multitude of professions. Why then is it that our Masters have little or no reprieve from their work? Too often those in service expect that service alone will provide all the care a Master needs. In this class we will discuss how to recognize needs in Masters, ways for slaves to empower and support Masters, and types of service that feed the Master’s joy not solely the slave’s need to serve.

Service in the Storm

Master always loves when the slave offers service by lacing his boots onto him…except when the Master is injured and is unable to put on his own damn boots. Now there is frustration, guilt,  and resentment from the Master and confusion and hurt for the slave.

Under ideal circumstances, when the slave serves the Master they each take great pleasure in the exchange. Once life gets stormy service may become pragmatic and lose the sexy pleasure it once provided for both sides if the dynamic. In this workshop we will share some of our experiences with service during illness, grief, and hardship and ways to adapt, plan, and prepare for the storms of life. Topics will include finding the sexy in the midst of stress,  empowering the exchange,  pitfalls of anticipatory service, and disaster planning for long term success.

Creepy M/s: The Good, the Bad, and the Vanilla

Remember when hearing them call you ‘Master’ or ‘slave’ was enough to give you a hard wet nasty urge that you just needed to scratch? When feeling a flogger in your fist felt edgy and delightfully creepy? Remember the rush when fresh brewed coffee magically appeared for the first time?

Now you hear, “Master, who is picking up the dog from the vet tomorrow?” or “slave, fetch my clean underwear, I think I had a blow-out.” Does that get you hot and bothered? When was the last time you danced your SM dance? How did the coffee appearing become so passé so quickly?

Fighting ‘vanilla creep’ and fostering what brought you to M/s can either be a wonderful intriguing journey or an uphill exhausting struggle. In this workshop we will share our successes, failures, and enjoyable imperfect attempts to keep the good kind of creepy in our M/s.

Gender In M/s: The Baby and the Bathwater

If someone says, “Men are Masters, women are slaves,” or something akin, we each have an immediate and often intense reaction. Some might hear that sentiment and say, “Yes!  At last I feel understood! Some folks hear it and say, “You are nuts, gender stereotypes are always wrong.” Still another response might be, “Oh….so you think there are only two genders?”

Reactions vary widely, are often completely opposed, and frequently become battle lines between us. Finding a way to keep the ‘baby,’ what you love about your own personal gender identity, while tossing out the ‘bathwater,’ judgmental and inappropriate biases, is a huge challenge.

In this workshop we will discuss: feminine and masculine archetypes; how traditional gender roles can be used or misused in the M/s community; ways to embrace your gender identity within your dynamic; the importance of advocating against prejudging gender roles, gender identities, and sexism.

Weekend Intensives

Want to see more than one of the workshops listed above? We also teach weekend intensives – two full days of classes devoted to topics related to Master/slave relationships.  We can tailor the topics to the needs of your community and different experience levels of living as Master/slave.

Community Workshops

Time To Put Out

Too often we find members of our community reluctant to discuss or teach about good old fashion fucking in the raunchy sense of the word. There has been a long period of time where many of us have been marginalized with labels like “sexual deviants” or “swingers.” In the process of trying to define ourselves as a community with greater depth and value than “just sex” and to differentiate ourselves from the swinging lifestyle, we collectively become skittish about talking dirty with pride. This workshop is designed to renew the community’s sense of sexual acceptance and offer education relating to bringing the nasty back into your relationships. Time will be available toward the end of the workshop to allow participants to discuss how sex works with their other lifestyle choices.

Growing Community: Not a Garden, a Church, or a Camp Out

If you have ever been unlucky enough to participate in a Homeowner’s Association meeting, you have a sense of how seemingly nice people can suddenly become crazed wildebeests thundering over one another in the name of ‘community.’ Kinky folks are no different. We tend to eat our young before they can walk and then cry in our collective beer that there is no one new to play, screw, or hang out with.

The alternative lifestyle community is not a garden, a church, or a camp out. It is a group of independent spirited and sexually dynamic people who often arrive after being shunned out of the mainstream. How do these castaways with so little common ground turn into a family of choice?

This workshop will cover community development concepts that can work in the kink community. Topics will include: common organizational and leadership pitfalls, tips for success, and how to decide when to start from scratch..

Finding the Path Beyond the Gateway

Many groups describe themselves as “gateway” groups intended to offer introductions to the BDSM community. Gateway groups are a tremendous resource for newcomers to find a welcome wagon. After all without a gateway group here in our own town we would likely never have met, but the trouble is that too often the gateway becomes jammed. Breaking loose the log jam and making a way for the gate to lead toward enduring community ties is a challenge. Many of us have seen the new people attend for a while and then disappear; finding a way to knit them into the larger community is essential.

This workshop covers key concepts for creating next step groups where people can truly develop lasting leather family ties. Included in this discussion will be the meaning of “community” in the realm of BDSM, ideas on how to develop communities out of small groups, SIGs, or clusters of friends, and practical suggestions for how to transition new community members from casual party attendees to close friends. The talk will be followed by an interactive discussion on how to accomplish these goals.

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