Tag Archive for Titleholding

Southwest Master and slave Title Year Wrapup

Southwest Master and slave 2013

As we wrap up our year as your Southwest Master and slave we would like to take a few minutes to give you an idea of what we did to represent you.

First, from a numbers perspective we attended more than 20 weekend long events.  After Southwest Leather Conference 2013 we went to B.O.H.I.C.A. Weekend (Austin, TX), Sin in the City (Las Vegas, NV), South Plains Leather Fest (Dallas, TX), Alamo City Leather Fetish Ball (San Antonio, TX), Beyond Leather (Fort Lauderdale, FL), International Ms Leather (San Francisco, CA), Northwest Leather Celebration (San Jose, CA), Northern Exposure 4 (Anchorage, AK), SouthEast Leather Fest (Atlanta, GA), TES Fest (Piscataway, NJ), Thunder in the Mountains (Denver, CO), KINK Weekend OKC (Oklahoma City, OK), Women In Leather Fest (Dallas, TX), Great Lakes Leather Alliance Weekend (Indianapolis, IN), International Leather SIR Leather boy (Dallas, TX), Austin girls of Leather (AgoL) Leather History Panel (Austin, TX), Leather Bash home of International Mr and Ms Transgender (Atlanta, GA), Beyond Vanilla (Dallas, TX), Behind Closed Doors (Tucson, AZ), Colorado MAsT (Denver, CO), Oklahoma MAsT (Oklahoma City, OK), and Mr Austin Leather contest (Austin, TX).

In addition, during the weekends we were home we participated in our local area events including teaching at Voyagers and The Underground, monthly AgoL meetings, Austin Pride Parade, and various cigar socials. We often made time with our leather family during week nights to ensure we kept up those ties, after all a year is too long to be away from those we hold so dear. On a wider scale, we each continued to contribute to Leatherati.com and slave was elected Vice President for Women in Leather International.

In all, we spent 70 nights away from our warm bed in 10 different states. We taught 40+ hours of workshops to approximately 480 kinky people. We sat for countless hours offering one on one mentorship and encouragement to individuals and couples never turning down a request for our time. Every conference we attended got our full dedication and attention, we worked hard to remain available and approachable staying in the lobbies, classrooms, and social events until we finally happily fell into our hotel beds.

Personally, we experienced joy and growth throughout. We had some challenges and overcame them together. We shared moments of adventure and beauty that were magnificent.

We slept when we could…for Master that included late at night in an IHOP and on nearly every plane we were on.

We drank way too much port in Las Vegas, they were serving it in red solo cups and slave forgot it wasn’t wine.

A delightful taxi driver took us down the famous crooked street in San Francisco on the way to the brunch that was so good slave wept with joy.

In San Jose we happened upon an amazing gift shop attached to the Catholic Church and Master indulged his passion for all things Virgin of Guadalupe.We played Cards Against Humanities with our leather family and friends in the atrium of a hotel in Fort Lauderdale till we were all too exhausted to play.

In Alaska after winning the People’s Choice Award for 2012, slave delivered the keynote address for NE4. We drank glacier melt out of the side of a mountain outside Anchorage on the breath taking Turn Again Arm Highway. slave fed a reindeer dandelions while Master smiled with one of the biggest grins ever as he watched his slave squeal with glee.In Atlanta, we resisted the temptation of gas station fried chicken while succumbing to the allure and high school memories of MD 20/20 (well we succumbed to the temptation of buying MD anyway.  Upon recalling that the Mad Dog has a bite far more fearsome than its bark, we smartly poured it down the drain.)  Later we shared bad Margaritas on the patio in front of the hotel till 4 a.m. laughing as Master had his slave tell stories about cats in bags and dead horses and street fights.

In Dallas Master served as a judge for Great Plains Olympus while slave served as judge’s girl.

slave managed to not curse in writing with one exception in Tucson when she worked the word “poop” into an example and jotted it on the white board. People took pictures of it after class… Master was Soooooo proud of his slave that day.

Master surprised our friend Master Thompson by decking out in a full body bunny costume for Halloween. Master Thompson told Master he had a recurring hot fantasy about Master as a bunny. Basically making dreams come true is what we are all about… no matter how odd the dream.

There was molasses and misfortune. Enough said about that.

Basically we spent our title year working very hard and playing even harder. Along the way we met hundreds of amazing people, shared meals with many of them, found many close and lifelong friendships, connected with and learned from our elders across the country, and taught anyone who wanted to listen that they are the author of their own one true way. Though our classes covered various topics each of them contained the same message, Masters and slaves must trust their own path to be their best way. Master said many times, “Be committed to the people, not the fantasy” and “the quickest way to ruin a relationship is to try to make it look like someone else’s idea of M/s.”

As we head toward our competition at South Plains for International Master and slave 2014, our deepest hope is that we made you all proud and that we continue to serve the community we love so intensely.

The trouble with thank you lists is that invariably someone who is really important gets overlooked.  Inevitably those persons that don’t get mentioned are the very people who do the little things that deserve the most recognition.  They also tend to be the people who don’t do things for recognition or because they expect someone is watching; instead they are the people who do things simply because they see a need and recognize that they have the ability to help.

That said, we want to take a moment to thank some people who made several of those usually unsung contributions that helped not only make this year possible but also consistently inspired us to be the best people we could be.  Without further ado, we wish to thank in no particular order: Joseph, Judi, Elegant, Archer, Master Obsidian, slave namaste, Mr and Mrs Jeep, Goddess Indigo, Dr Clockwork, Senor Jaime, Master Ian, slave jerri, Wayne Brawner, Kathleen, Foxfinder, Sarha, Loren, Alex, The Thompson Family of OKC, Sir Gareth and slave toi, Master Tallen and slave George, and our children.

On Complaining About Others

Recently I have gotten a hint of the stress that negative comments can cause. Don’t misunderstand, I am not complaining that I am personally over wrought or stressed out. I am a pretty solid, steady person as it relates to dealing with conflict or ‘drama’. I have been in the BDSM community long enough to have learned not to put value or energy into it for it does you little benefit personally and very rarely helps anyone else.

That said, I do find myself a bit sad that I read many negative and judgmental online posts directed toward folks in the community who work hard at serving others. Event producers, group leaders, and title holders seem to be ‘fair game’ of a sort. I am not sure why that is so rarely challenged. I suspect most of the folks these types of threads are complaining about or tearing down are simply busy, used to it, and possibly choose not to feed the threads.

Maybe next time you find yourself thinking negative things about one of these types of folks, try contacting them. Talking to them. Expressing your concerns directly. Making a place in someone’s life by showing them respect is the best way to have them listen to and respect your criticism. Posting online is likely not how you would like a conversation to begin about what you may or may not be doing wrong in your life.

Publicly announcing you don’t approve of someone who has never specifically sought your endorsement does nothing to build anyone and possibly does damage to you, them, and worst of all, to some new person who sees your post and fears that they too will someday have to stand up to someone like you if they try to start a group or run for a title or whatever they might have had the potential to do.

If you aren’t someone who is likely to make negative comments or post essays about things you don’t like, if instead you also read these types of posts and think it makes you a little sad too, then take a moment to post a compliment. This does not need to be a confrontation or argument, simply let the folks you support know you are there for them. If feeding the thread doesn’t feel helpful, then try sending someone a kind note, drop them a smile via text, or whatever feels right.

I know folks have the right to complain, I respect that, but if we want to take the time to really help one another improve let’s do it in the right way.

Just my thoughts.

You know you are a title holder when…

You realize you slept through take-off on a flight.

You used your title vest as a blanket during a flight.

You have to check you Google calendar to see when you will be home again.

Your travel requires a spreadsheet.

You forget which class you are teaching until you arrive at a conference and check the schedule.

Your bank has stopped questioning out-of-town charges.

You don’t fully unpack your bags, you just pull out the dirty laundry and dry cleaning.

Eating out is no longer fun, just part of staying fed.

Google maps knows you are always looking for the Starbucks nearest your current location.

You spend more time with your friends who live across town while you are out of town at the same conferences.

Your own bed feels ‘weird’ and hotel beds are comfy.

You begin to sympathize with rock stars who trash hotel rooms because you too get a little stir crazy.

You find yourself explaining fairly often that no, not all Texans put fried eggs on things, ride horses, or wear spurs to work.

You realize that you wouldn’t trade a second of waiting for a connecting flight, drinking bad hotel coffee, or dressing out of a suit case because you passionately love what you are doing.

Most importantly… you have the privilege and honor of teaching folks all over about what you hold most dear.